Thursday, February 23, 2006

Vegas: Final Night


Vegas: Final Night
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
My last night in Vegas. I'm seriously ready to go home. I can only take so many Fremont Street Experience shows. And I think I've had enough buffets, cheap drinks and mullets to last me a good, long while. Seriously, I didn't realize so many dudes still considered a mullet a "good" look. Walking around down here is like walking through every episode of COPS from 1987-1995. I was pretty sure the first guy I saw sporting the look was going for some kind of weird hipster/ironic look. I've since changed my mind. He was just groovin' on the party-in-the-back attitude. Damn, those boys sure are proud of their bad hair! Of course, they actually have hair. Bastards.

Time to log off for the night. The 11:00 show is getting started and I'd hate to miss my second to last 80's medley. Party on, dudes.

Day 3: Vegas Getting Old


Day 3: Vegas Getting Old
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
So I've been here since Sunday, and things are getting a little strange. I did my workshop today (blah, blah, blah) and we decided to leave downtown behind and hit the Strip. Different friggin' worlds. Seriously. Downtown is a much more mellow crowd. Lots noisier, more chances somebody will do something stupid and not get "arrested". The Strip has more "rules". Anyway, we were gambling, i.e., "drinking" at Caesar's and I saw this sign outside the Celine Deion theater. I thought it was a little ironic that weapons were specifically not allowed in the theater. I don't know if that's so you don't shoot Celine or you don't shoot yourself. Either way, your pain is over.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Vegas: Day 2


Vegas: Day 2
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
As many times as I've been to Vegas, I never quite get over how un-subtle the place is. Just in case you're not sure what they mean by "Discount Liquor", they put up the "BOOZE" sign. Sweet. FYI - Think twice (or three or four times) about staying at one of the downtown hotels. The Fremont Street Experience goes off every half hour. Lots of loud 80's music until midnight. Listening to a Madonna/Cyndi Lauper combo right now. Rockin' tunes.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Vegas, Baby!


Vegas, Baby!
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
I've been in Vegas for two hours and I'm already down $1.40. I'd probably be down more, but I couldn't get a seat at one of the penny slots. If you've ever spent much time in Vegas you should recognize by the picture that I'm staying downtown. Downtown ain't the flashy Vegas you see in Ocean's 11 (Rat-pack or re-make). It's more the Vegas you see in CSI. The body-in-the-alley-in-a-skeevy-part-of-town part of CSI (ironic, but I'm hearing multiple police sirens as I write this). The silver lining is the $1 beers. And the Topless Girls of Glitter Gulch.

There should be more updates tomorrow. Thanks to the half-ass service of Showtime Shuttles (don't EVER take those bastards if you come to Vegas), it was late when I got in and I have to work in the morning. A cold beer on top of my country fried steak and eggs makes Kelly a sleepy boy. Hasta.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Decaying Orbit


Decaying Orbit
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
After 44 years, the Orangevale Orbit will soon be gone, replaced by a sparkly new Chevron. Screw Chevron. I've got to say, this is one of my favorite buildings in Sacramento. This gas station was built back in the early days of the space program, JFK was going to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade, "The Jetson's" were in their first season and personal jet-packs would be on the showroom floors within a few years. OK, that last one didn't happen, but I still dig the design. Tell me how an old, concrete building with a wing-like roof can't be some sort of historical landmark. The sneaky bastards didn't even release the news to the "Mainstream Media". I had to read about the "project" in the weekly Orangevale News. I'm smelling cover-up here. I'm going to have to keep a really close eye on Orangevale Feed next door. I'll be out front with a picket sign if they try to get rid of Socks. As long as it's not summer then. It gets really hot in Sacramento.

Moving on to what I did read in the real newspaper today, I think I'm truly in the wrong business. I've been with the same company for 16 years, and I get 4 weeks of vacation a year and 6 sick/personal days. Not great, but pretty standard. Then I read an article on cnn.com about the benefits al Qaeda operatives get. Married dudes (no chicks in al Qaeda; apparently not an "equal opportunity employer") get 7 days of vacation a month (single guys get 5 days a month) and 15 sick days a year. First thing I thought (shortly after "al Qaeda's got benefits?!") was how mundane this actually sounds. When I think of al Qaeda, I'm picturing guys hunkered down in caves, scratching out crude plans and diagrams in the dirt. What I'm NOT thinking about is guys with vacation and sick days. Weird. Still, not exactly a job I think I'd enjoy. Too much "blowing shit up" and "getting killed". Not a lot of that happening in my office. Besides, they didn't say anything about a 401(k).

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

People Are Idiots

I just read an article that said 20% of Americans think their calls have been monitored by the government. Who the hell are these cocky bastards? I wish somebody would listen to me. I post to my blog on a semi-regular basis and I'm pretty sure I have a readership of about six. And I'm counting myself. Hell, I'd be happy to post transcripts of all my telephone calls if I thought anybody'd be interested. Sample call:

KELLY: Hello?
RACHELLE: I'm on my way home. What's for dinner?
KELLY: Ummmm, meatloaf? We're out of beer.
RACHELLE: We've got wine.
KELLY: Cool. See you in a few minutes.
RACHELLE: 'Bye.

I've got more if Bush, Dick & Co. would be interested.

I'm absolutely NO fan of the current administration or their quasi-legal wiretapping program, but I don't believe most Americans have been intentionally singled out. There are roughly 300 million Americans, about 210 million over the age of 18 (I'm pulling out the youngsters because, based on what I heard at the mall last week, government interpreters wouldn't have the slightest idea what those dumb-asses were talking about). Figure 20% of the remaining people and you've still got 42 million people to monitor. Screw that. Even with smart NSA sniffers, somebody's got to go back in and listen to that crap. I would last about a week before I wigged out and climbed a clock tower.

That said, I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that certain high-profile individuals with no ties to al Qaeda have had their calls, mail, e-mail, etc., intercepted. That's the whole idea behind a "slippery slope". Almost everybody would say that they are cool with listening in to "terrorists", but how far does that go? Is the ACLU a terrrorist organization? Bill O'Reilly seems to think so. People who aren't in lock-step with W. and his cronies are apparently not patriots and are just waiting to be invaded by the Commies/Islamo-facists/Mexicans (take your pick; I was channel-surfing on the way home from work and heard about the dangers of all three groups). Should their phone calls and mail be fair game? Maybe. Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure some of the people who are defending this program the most would be screaming the loudest if there were a Democrat in the White House. But it's possible I'm just cynical.

Enough of my ranting for now. Think I used enough key-words in this post to trip the NSA sniffers? I hope so. I'd hate to be part of the 80% of American losers who are not having their conversations monitored.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Shhhh! I'm hunting wabbits!


PBR Me, ASAP (II)
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
So, Dick finally shot somebody. That we know about. Call me crazy, but I'm guessing this ain't the first time something like this has happened. That "hunting trip" with Antonin Scalia right before the Supreme Court was going to rule for or against Cheney/Enron/Haliburton, et al, sounded suspiciously like Michael taking Fredo out on the boat for a "fishing trip". Say the wrong thing and it's, "Hey, Tony! Duck! (heh, heh, heh)". It's either really dark and evil (hey, it is Cheney), or he's just truly a piss-poor shot. If that's the case, I've got a looooong list of people I'd like him to take hunting next time. At least the guy he shot is a Republican. Something about Karma.

Moving on to the good-news/bad-news part of the program. Based on the aforementioned Mr. Cheney and his boss' fiscal policies, I'm getting a little worried about my financial future. Fortunately, the good people at Safeway are watching out for me. For two (2) weeks in a row, they've had 6-packs of PBR on sale for $3.50. In bottles! Sure, you can get a 12-pack of cans for $6.04 (a bargain), but it's cans. How low-class can you get? I prefer to swill my crap-ass beer out of a frosty bottle. After 4 or 5 it actually starts to taste beer-like. Almost.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Super Bowl Stripping?


Super Bowl Stripping?
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.
So Ken and I went to the Powehouse in Folsom for the Super Bowl on Sunday. Place is a little weird, but they have the best TV of any sports bar I've ever been tanked in (and I've been tanked in PLENTY of sports bars all over the country). Half-time rolls around and I head inside to see if I've won the raffle (no). Suddenly, much to my dismay, the woman pulling the raffle numbers suddenly "loses" her top. I was shocked! So shocked that I wasn't able to get the camera on my Treo zoomed in for a better shot. I will be better prepared next year.