Last Call?

"Hmmmm, I wonder where I could get some liquor?" Fortunately, my local gas station is there just in case I need an early morning jolt. I know it might be a little hard to see (had to take the picture with my surprisingly crappy iPhone camera), but the sign in front of the Shell station says, "LIQUOR SOLD HERE". Sweet! Although it's not as good as the gas stations where I grew up in Nebraska. There, you could get gas, beer/liquor AND ammo. At least during hunting season. They kept the 12-gauge shells on the counter next to the male enhancement and/or diet pills. I don't think there's much of a hunting season in Orangevale. I guess we could have peacock season or something. Hear they taste a little like squirrel.

Lucy's New Friend

No, we haven't gotten a new puppy. We had some serious storms here a couple weeks ago and our neighbor's fence blew down. Leaving just enough room for their new puppy to squeeze through. Lucy is extremely happy to have a new friend to play with, but Bo doesn't like other dogs. He doesn't like Lucy much some days, much less a tiny, wiggly puppy that wants to play. They fixed their fence last weekend and Bailey can't get over anymore. So sad for both of them. She's managed to dig a very small hole under the fence. Big enough to get her head through, small enough that she can't make it all the way through.


Lucy hasn't given up hope, though. She goes to the bedroom window when she hears the neighbor dogs are out. It's a little frightening that we have a dog big enough to look out the window without standing on anything but the floor. It's not like it's a low window, either. I'd love for some perv to try peeping in the bedroom window and come face-to-face with her. Lucy, not Rachelle. Lucy's a little scarier looking.

Travelin' Man

I've been on the road a lot lately with my new job, which gives me plenty of opportunities to try the local restaurants. Sometimes you find a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican or Thai place that has some of the best food around. Then you have the other places. I found Tony's Spunky Steer in Redlands, CA, and was tempted to give it a shot. Almost. I'm assuming it's a steak place, but I was a little concerned about how tasty a "spunky steer" would be and chickened out. Unfortunately, I ended up at Long John Silver's instead. Probably not a good call. Any restaurant that serves deep-fried lobster "bites" is a little suspect, and the chicken/fish/whatever all taste the same. My hotel in Redlands is right across the street from Larry Flint's Hustler Club, where I've heard that the $6 steak is only $2 on Tuesday and you get a free lunch with any drink purchase during the week. Looks like I might have to try that next time instead of the Spunky Steer.

AT&T Sucks

So I'm pretty sure I only have myself to blame, but I decided to switch from Earthlink to AT&T DSL a couple of months ago. I'd been paying double what AT&T said they'd charge me, and it wasn't that difficult to let the 8 people who email me know I'd changed my address, so I was easily swayed by the sales pitch when THEY FRIGGIN' CALLED ME! I was promised a free DSL modem (with rebate) and no start-up fee. Sounded good. Fast-forward to last Friday. I get a notice in the mail that says I have to pay $108 or they're going to disconnect my phone. WTF? First of all, we pay everything electronically, so our bank sends out a payment as soon as it's due. Kind of hard to not pay your bills when they're friggin' AUTOMATIC, but it turns out they never even sent a bill for October. The only bill we got (via email, which is how AT&T sends bills to us every month) came the day before the mailed disconnect notice. You may notice all the bolded and italicized caps in this post. That's because I have been on hold with AT&T for ONE HOUR AND FIFTY-FIVE MINUTES AND COUNTING to try to figure out how they screwed up my bill so badly. I would have hung up roughly one hour and fifty minutes ago, but I'm so friggin' pissed at them that I want to talk to somebody. That and I'm curious how long they'll actually leave me on hold before they come back.

Updates to follow.

Happy Halloween?

I met up with Ken at the Powerhouse Pub in Folsom for Monday Night Football (Note: It still doesn't seem right to have MNF on ESPN, but maybe I'm just old school). There is usually just one "Powerhouse Princess" to host the half-time putting contest, but this week we had a cornucopia of hot(ish) chicks in bikinis. Instead of the one (1) scantily-clad chick, there were three (3) young ladies wearing nothging but a bikini and a smile. And about 40 leering pervs, but that's another story. This was our first trip for MNF since the regular season started and we were a little disappointed that none of the regulars seemed to be there. Ted McGinley, The 3 Geeks, etc. I don't want to know what they call us. Don't really care.

I did see this sign on the way in/out. I especially like the "MUST BE LEGAL" disclaimer. Considering this bar is part of the same property where they have nude body-painting on a regular basis, I'm really curious about the costume contest. I'm trying to decide whether I should go as a drunk and shirtless David Hasselhoff (with my bag of Carl's Jr. burgers) or a drunk and shirtless Orangevale resident. Not really a costume per se, more of a life-style choice. Depends on how hungry I am.

One of the things I really like about my new job is that I am spending a lot of time in San Diego. Being away from home a lot isn't the greatest, but there are worse places to be. My old job had me in Texas and Oklahoma on a regular basis. I could find at least one nice thing to say about both places, but there weren't a lot of places to surf. Not that I actually "surf", but I've always thought it would be fun and I (in theory) could take it up. I bet I'd be a really good surfer, too. I wonder if they have wet-suits in "Extra Fat"? Probably not a good idea for me to be seen in something skin-tight. I've seen my skin. There seems to be lots more of it than there used to be.

One of my nieces is working on a school project based on the book "Flat Stanley". I'm not 100% sure what the whole plot of the book is, but it seems to be about a kid (named "Stanley") who is actually just a piece of paper (I don't know if he actually is paper or if he's just as flat as paper, but I don't think it matters much. At least not to me.) Anyway, my tie-in to the whole thing is Hannah's class had to make their own Flat Stanley and get pictures of them having "adventures". Since I travel a fair amount, I was asked to take Flat Hannah on my trips and get some pictures of her in exotic locales. So far, Flat Hannah has been to the beach, Petco Park (Go Padres!), Las Vegas and Tijuana. At first I felt a little uncomfortable taking pictures of a paper doll in public, but I was taking Flat Hannah on a photo-shoot in Vegas and a woman stopped and said, "Is that a Flat Stanley?" So, apparently, Flat Stanley is something of a celebrity in the soccer-mom circles. I'm not so sure the waitresses at Taco Bell - Tijuana really understood why I was taking pictures of Flat Hannah, but I guarantee they've seen stranger things on an average Friday/Saturday night in TJ. I've been told that the picture of Flat Hannah drinking a Pacifico probably won't make it into the school project. (Not flat) Hannah was actually worried that I'd taken Flat Hannah out of the country. She didn't know if that was against the rules. It's probably OK.

Interesting New Product

I was at Walgreen's this morning looking for birthday cards for my sister (3 days late) and my mom (still got a couple weeks) when Rachelle wanders on over with this product. My intitial thought was, "Why does she think I'd be interested in a product called Bald Guyz?" Then I remembered. I'm a bald guy. I was too offended to buy them while we were there, but I'm reconsidering. After visiting their web-site, I'm actually somewhat intrigued. Not only do they have the head wipes ("Cleans and Freshens"), but they also have sunscreen gel ("highly sweat resistant") and moisture gel ( with "Green Tea and Grape Seed extracts". They also have t-shirts for ladies who love the baldies ("Bald Guyz are Sexy!"). Might have to order a couple of those for Rachelle. I'll be giving a complete product review soon.

"Labor" Day

We didn't do a whole lot of "laboring", but Rachelle and I went to Monterey/Carmel for the weekend. We had actually planned on going to Vegas to meet one of her friends for the 3-day weekend. Unfortunately, we waited too long to book the flights and ended up not being able to use my Southwest Rapid Rewards (i.e., "free") tickets. Bummer. Anyway, to make it up to Rachelle, I booked a hotel in Monterey to get away from the un-godly nasty heat of Sacramento in August. Turned out to be a beautiful weekend on the coast. Sunny and 70's the entire trip. Rachelle was able to get discounted tickets to the Monterey Bay Aquarium through work, so we decided to give that a shot. Big mistake. Unless you are 6 years old and/or have several children roughly that age, the aquarium ain't for you. We really would have enjoyed all the exhibits and animals (and fish) if it hadn't been so jam-packed crowded with families and their strollers. What is it about people with multiple kids that they find it perfectly acceptable to let one or more of them run free with the stroller, running over anybody in their way? I personally like kids, have several nieces and nephews, and think the aquarium would be a great learning experience. My problem is with the parents who don't monitor what their kids are doing. My suggestion to the aquarium folk would be to have an "adult" night at least once a month. With beer and/or wine. Or not. Whatever. As long as there were no kids.

We made the trip to Carmel and Big Sur, but the whole thing was fairly relaxing. I hadn't had a bad meal until the last night we were there. Rachelle made the mistake of saying "you haven't had a bad meal since we got here" the last night we were there. Cue the bad meal. If you've seen any of the pictures of me on this blog, you know that I'm not exactly "dainty". I haven't met many meals that I couldn't at least eat. Found one in Monterey. If you ever get to town and are looking for a decent brew-pub, stay FAR, FAR AWAY from Peter B's. The brew was only so-so, and the food was literally inedible. I have probably sent zero meals back in 12 years of business travel. This is the first time I have ever told a waitress to take my meal back. Friggin'-all hungry and I didn't eat my fish and chips because it was so nasty. And this from a man who recently had to upgrade his belt due to circumstances beyond his control. Also, you might want to steer clear of the Padre Oaks Inn. Hotel was pleasant enough, but the bed was so uncomfortable I ended up in my car the last night because it made my back hurt too bad to sleep in the room. On the flip side, I learned how freakin' comfortable a 4Runner can be.

Old Style Me, ASAP?

Rachelle and I went to my cousin's wedding outside of Chicago last week. Nice Catholic wedding, nice location, etc., but the mass itself made me feel just a little uncomfortable. Having not been to mass (other than weddings and funerals) for quite some time, I don't really know if it was way out of the ordinary or if the standard wedding mass now involves a lot of very conservative political preaching. On the one hand, it takes a little bit of the pressure off knowing my marriage is doomed to fail because:

a) We weren't married in a Catholic church (although the chapel at Treasure Island was very nice); and

b) There isn't a "third person" in my marriage (I had always heard that having extra people in the marriage was a problem, but it turns out the priest was talking about "Jesus", not the "Pool-boy/Cocktail Waitress"-type extra person)

On the other hand, I now have extra incentive to make my marriage work just to spite Father Fronek. At least we were in good company. It looked like the highest concentration of sinners was on the groom's side of the church. If I'm going to burn in hell for eternity, at least the rest of my family will be there with me. And it looks as if they might serve Old Style there, too.

The Chicago portion of our trip was a lot of fun, too. We met Rachelle's cousin for dinner our first night in town and she took us to Tavern at the Park, a new restaurant right next to Millennium Park. If you're in Chicago and are looking for the most decadent, evil, rich desert, hit the Tavern. We had a fondue of melted white-chocolate and crumbled up Oreo's that we dipped crispy-treats, pretzel-sticks, marshmallows and fruit into. I dug it and I don't eat much desert. If you're not as much into the whole "desert" thing, hit the bar for a variety of martinis. Trust me on the martinis.

We also did a lot of the touristy things the second day. This picture was taken from the ladies room of the Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of the Hancock building. My bathroom had a view of a urinal. Rachelle gets this. Another example of how life ain't fair. Anyway, you can either pay $9/person to visit the observatory, or you can go to the lounge for free. Easy choice. I still spent $20+ at the lounge, but we got a better view and a couple good drinks. And Rachelle got a bitchin' view from the bathroom. One word of advice: IF YOU DO NOT HAVE MULTIPLE CHILDREN, STAY FAR, FAR, FAR AWAY FROM NAVY PIER. We hit the Pier with my dad and his wife. Big mistake. Took us 30 minutes to make it to the parking garage because ALL THE FRIGGIN' FAMILIES WERE DROPPING THEIR KIDS OFF AND IT TOOK FRIGGIN' FOREVER. Enough ranting about the Pier. Just a suggestion to avoid it.

Back From Hiatus

I've been really busy since I started my new job and haven't had much time to update my blog, but something happened at breakfast this weekend that made me really feel like writing something. Rachelle and I were leaving Annie's Breakfast & Steaks (there for the breakfasts, not the steaks) and a guy stopped me and said, "I know this is going to sound weird, but I've read your blog". I was personally happy that somebody other than me and (occasionally) Rachelle actually reads the thing. I don't think Rachelle was quite as "happy". More like "embarassed". Anyway, if you were at Annie's this Saturday morning and are reading this; Thanks!

On to what's been happening since I took the new gig back in June. I've been on the road a little more than I was with MOO, but it's all California travel, which is really nice. I don't really miss all the Oklahoma/Texas travel. Not at all. Anyway, Rachelle and I hit the river for a little kayaking on Sunday. The American River is one reason I don't see myself re-locating to San Diego anytime soon. That and the $800k house prices. We paddled on up to the warning wire strung across the water. It's kind of hard to tell from this picture, but it says, "FOLSOM PRISON - NO TRESPASSING". Sweet! And that's about as close to prison as I ever want to get.

Hotel Del

This is the view from the balcony of room 3279 at the Hotel Del Coronado, where my new company's "annual event" is being held this year. Beautiful old hotel and great location. I got a room with a courtyard view, but the beach and ocean are right out the back door of the hotel. Tonight was the initial get-together dinner and they had a guest speaker for afterward. The husband of one of the women who works here is a Navy S.E.A.L. They were seated at my table. I am a pathetic, fat, lazy loser. Not just compared to the S.E.A.L., but he didn't make it any easier for me to ignore. Anyway, he was a good speaker and he had some interesting stories during the Q&A. Enough for tonight. I'm thinking about getting up early and going to the fitness center. I probably won't, but thinking about it is more than I've done lately. It's a start. Kind of.

New Job: Day 1

So today was my first day at the new gig. I show up at a little before 9:00 this morning (after a 6:05am flight) and find out I'm just in time for the weekly Director's meeting. Great. Nothing like sitting front and center at an important meeting your first 5 minutes on the job. Especially after on 3+ hours sleep. At least nobody asked me anything. I'm still waiting for my laptop and BlackBerry, but I should have both by the end of the week. It's is amazing how disconnected you feel when you don't have a work e-mail or laptop. I'm sure I'll be as annoyed by the e-mails eventually, but I miss being connected.

I'm in San Marcos, CA, for the next couple of days learning more about the company and what they're going to expect of me. Probably will expect more than MoO, but it's all sounding good so far. The one down-side of San Diego is the difference in climate from Sacramento. I'm used to dry heat and sunshine. Went out to dinner tonight and felt a little cold sitting on the patio. Fortunately, I found a place right next to the fire pit. Toasty warm! There's a section of town here called "Restaurant Row" where there are 20-30 restaurants in one big area. Makes it really convenient when you're not sure what you are in the mood for. I actually went to find a sports-bar and thought this looked better. Mostly because of the fire pit. I might have more tomorrow, but I brought the good camera down to get pictures from the Hotel Del Mar on Wednesday and Thursday. Bitchin' hotel, from everything I've seen. Definite updates from there.

D.Q.: Orangevale-Style

So Rachelle and I stopped at the D.Q. for a little soft-serve on the way home from dinner tonight and I had to use the bathroom. "Why would you ever use the bathroom at the Orangevale D.Q." you might ask yourself. Good question! Probably had something to do with the 22oz Sierra Nevada at the Outback, but that's a whole different issue. Anyway, I'm in the bathroom and I notice they have the toilet-paper padlocked to the wall. Definitely the sign of a classy joint. Makes you wonder how many rolls of toilet-paper got lifted before they decided to drop $5 on a Master Lock.

(Ex) Employee #57935

Today marks the end of an era. After 17+ years, multiple job titles and one trans-continental transfer, I am no longer a Mutual of Omaha-Medicare employee. It was a really good run and I liked most of my co-workers over the years, but it was time for a move. I start my new job for a much smaller company tomorrow and expect all sorts of weirdness to come out of that. I've worked for a large corporation for so long that the little things that I take for granted aren't going to be the same. And some of that is a GOOD thing. I'll be posting more as I learn a little more about what I'll be doing and what they expect of me, but the one really cool thing is I'll be spending my first week at the annual company event at the Hotel Del Coronado. A hotel I've never been able to stay in because I am poor. Not "poor" poor, but definitely to "poor" to spend $400/night for a hotel. I plan on taking lots of pictures. And all of the soap.

Little Dog, Big Dog, Horse...

We took Lucy to the dog park to play with Sophie the boxer, and they found another friend to play with. Winston the mastiff made Lucy look delicate and petite. She's not, but Winston is a beast. He looked like a pony. An hour of play-time seems to have wiped her out. She hasn't moved in hours. Too bad she wasn't quite so sleepy at 6:30 this morning. I'm tempted to wake her up like she does me every morning, but that would just be petty and spiteful. Still tempted, though.

Cocktails First. Questions Later.

I took my brother Chris to Las Vegas for his 21st birthday this past weekend. Looking at the picture, you might not immediately notice the family resemblance, but he's been my brother since he was a couple weeks old and he's now 21. Geez, I'm old. If you can't tell, I'm the fat, bald white dude on the left. He's the one who actually looks 21. The showgirl was Eastern European of an undetermined age and hotter than the picture shows. Anyway, Chris had never been to Vegas and what better place is there to celebrate your 21st birthday? My 21st birtday was spent in a dive in Omaha, NE drinking $4.25 pitchers of whatever cheap beer was on tap. He spent his 21st birthday drinking a mojito at the Bellagio. $18 + tip. Damn! On the other hand, he had a total of four (4) drinks the entire weekend. One of which (martini) he didn't like and I had to finish. OK, I didn't "have" to finish it, but it was $10 worth of Kettle One and I hate to see a good martini go to waste. Turns out he didn't really want a "martini". What he thought he was ordering was a "margarita". Hell of a difference. I bought him a margarita at the Casino Royale ("$1 Michelob and/or Margarita") and he liked that much better. Said it tasted like a slushy. So, the 3+ drinks he had the entire weekend were probably the same number of drinks I had my first (legal) 15 minutes in a bar. And at least he got a good story to go with his 21st. I was the only one of my loser friends with a "job" when I turned 21, so I was doing all the "buying". Bastards. But that's 17 years of water under the bridge. I'm not bitter.

Sacramento Brewfest

Rachelle and I attended the Sacramento Brewfest this afternoon. We took light-rail downtown so we wouldn't have to worry about driving home. Good call, considering the large amounts of beer available. Technically, we were only supposed to get 10 drink coupons with our admission. Technically. We hadn't even gotten to the gate when a guy walking out asked if we were heading in. When we told him "hells, yeah!", he gave us his left-over drink coupons. Score! Add those extra coupons to the vendors who didn't actually "collect" the drink coupons when they gave us our beers and you've got one helluva beer fest. Anyway, the picture I've attached is of me and one of the "Sac City Rollers". Turns out Sacramento has a roller-derby team. Again, SCORE! Next derby is scheduled for May 19th, with a beer garden set up by Sacramento City Brewing Company. Might want to see if Ken's interested in a trip to Davis. Hey, it's only $17 at the door. FYI, this chick is wearing red fish-net stockings and roller skates. HOT! OK, not really "HOT", but pretty cool.

Civic Duty/New Gig

I've just spent the better part of the past two weeks doing my civic duty serving on a jury. Man, I would've thought all those hours watching "The People's Court" and "Judge Judy" would have given me an edge on deciding who was trustworthy and who was a lying weasel. Not so much. And Judge Ronald wasn't nearly as entertaining as Judge Judy. Lots less yelling at people. Anyway, not much exciting about the case. Sounded really juicy when we were going through the jury selection ("Assault with a Deadly Weapon"), but didn't turn out to be much. At least not much that we got to see. There were only a total of six witnesses, one of the victims didn't even show up and the one that did was only partially believable. All in all, four felony charges turned into three "not-guilty's" and one "guilty". Now I just need to figure out what to do with my $60 in juror pay (plus the $0.34/mile one way mileage). The $60 might be enough to fill the tank in my 4Runner. Maybe.

In other news, I gave my 21-day notice at work (it was going to be a full month, but I got stuck on a jury). I've been at the same company for 17 years this month, but it's time to move on. Mostly because they're closing my office, and if I don't "move on" the new tenants of our office space may not be too happy. The office isn't actually closing until February(ish), but I got an offer that I didn't want to turn down. The job is with a much smaller company that handles things in a much less corporate way. No real number of sick days, you keep track of your own vacation, actual I.T. support, etc. I don't even think I get a company I.D. badge or anything. The company's based in the San Diego area, but I'm not going to move. Rachelle still likes her job up here and we can actually afford to own a home in Orangevale. I guess I'll see how much I like travelling to SoCal on a fairly frequent basis.

New Pet?

Rachelle won't let me bring him/her/it inside, but we now have an 8-inch lizard living under our palm tree. Rachelle seemed very concerned when she opened the front door and saw Larry waiting to be let in. It would probably work out better for everybody if he never made it past the door. I hate to think what Lucy would do with a new "squeaky toy" that actually ran from her. And I hate to think of how much KILZ I'd need to cover everything up before Rachelle got home. Also, I'm pretty sure the existence of Larry spells the end of any yard-work help I was hoping for from Rachelle this summer. I hope to hell she doesn't see any lizards in the back.

MPG Me, ASAP!

Damn, Rachelle's new car rocks! It's not as manly (and ruggedly handsome) as my new 4Runner, but it get friggin' great mileage. I had to fill my car up this weekend and it ran me just under $65. For about 330 miles. Rachelle had to fill up yesterday and it cost her $29 for 405 miles. Ouch. She was nice enough to beam me this picture of her drive home when she was averaging 60+ MPG (picture taken as she was stopped at a light). On the plus side, I have a sunroof. FYI, there should be some law against dealerships in warm-weather states selling any car with a sunroof or rag-top to a 35+ year old dude. Bound to be some crispy scalps. Anyway, we both took a bunch of crap from people who said "you'll never get your money back out of the gas savings". Screw that. We're getting double the mileage of anybody I know (except Shelley who also drives a Prius), and the cheapest gas I've seen in the area is running about $3.20/gallon. We might not make all our money back on getting better mileage, but Rachelle gets to drive a car she likes and she only has to fill up every 3 weeks. I'm pretty sure that was only the third time she's had to put gas in since she bought the car on March 8th. Not bad. Of course, I've only put gas in twice since I brought the 4Runner home on March 17th, but I've been out of town a lot.

Moving on to a different topic, Southwest still hasn't found my luggage, but they did send a nice letter last week telling me they were still looking for it. They also included a $200 travel voucher and told me that they were sending a check for my losses within 7-10 business days. Nice. I'd much rather have my crap back (meaning I didn't have to go shopping for all new crap), but I'll take the money. I've already used the $200 voucher for a ticket to take my brother Chris to Vegas for his 21st birthday. Hard to believe he's actually turning 21. Makes me feel really, really (really) old. Fortunately, my 17 years of post-21 drinking experience give me a really good idea of what drinks will leave him with the worst hang-over. My conundrum as an older brother is whether to use that knowledge for good or evil. Should I take good care of my little bro', or should I order him a multitude of Jaeger-based shots? Decisions, decisions. Another tough call: strip club or no strip club? Maybe I'll just take $40 in singles and let nature take its course.