Ski Bum

Rachelle and I went to Tahoe this weekend for a little early season skiing. Pretty much because some of the resorts offer a "Learn to Ski" package this weekend. $25 gets you two hours of lessons, skis, boots and a lift ticket. That makes it somewhat affordable when you have to add in a night at Wag for Lucy, two dog-sitting sessions for Bo and a rental 4x4 to make it up the hill. Whatever, it's not a bad deal at all, especially considering that of the 20+ people there for the lesson, everybody but me and Rachelle were there for snowboarding. Since apparently everybody already knows how to ski (except me and Rachelle), we got a private lesson. OK, Rachelle already "knows" how to ski, but I've got minimal skills. That said, I didn't fall all day. And I kicked some serious ASS on the Black Bear run. The Black Bear run is the fastest, scariest, baddest portion of the "beginner" slope. "Beginner" being the politically correct term for what used to be called the "Bunny" slope. The actual scarriest part of the beginner slope was the lift. This is the part of the ski park where they put the tiny kids and the big, fat dudes who might be a danger to real skiers. I fit in the big, fat dude category. Pick the White Pine run and you're getting a "hill" in the loosest sense of the word. Anyway, even though the beginner slope was just barely past horizontal, it was a great day on the mountain. If anybody wants to hit a nice ski park where the staff is friendly and the bar is large, give Sugar Bowl a shot. Nobody will even laugh (out loud) at you if you spend all day on the "beginner" slope and you are well into your 30's. A lot of sad head-shakes, but no laughs.

Meltdown

It's 8:00 a.m. on the Tuesday of a three-day holiday week, the week before I have to fly to Austin/Oklahoma City for two workshops, and two very bad work-related things happen. First, the office copier starts making a jet-engine type noise. Not good when I need 120 copies of a 50 page presentation (and 120 copies of about 6 other handouts). Huge pain in the ass, but nothing the Copy & Print Center at Staples can't help me with (3,328 total copies; bitchin'!). The second (and FAR nastier) problem is that my computer crashed this morning. The computer that I normally connect to my projector. So people can actually see my PowerPoint presentation. I called the "help desk" at my Home Office and got all the usual "helpful" suggestions. "Take the battery out and try again". "Take the battery out, unplug it and try again". Didn't work. Shocking. They finally told me they'd send me a new machine and I'd have it by Monday. That would be great if I was going to be in Sacramento on Monday. Unfortunately, I'll be in Texas. Now it's supposed to be shipped to my house on Friday. I've got my fingers crossed.

Anniversary

Anniversary
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

Rachelle and I celebrated our 6th anniversary last week. To help commemorate our solemn and glorious Las Vegas wedding, we decided to hit the Indian casino near our house for the buffet. Rock on! We actually could have gone someplace "nice", but the casino really seemed to fit. And it was only $9.99 per person. Drink included. Anyway, to anybody interested in getting married, Vegas is really a pretty good option. Book yourself a package through one of the better hotels and you're set. Pictures (that I wasn't told about), video (ditto) and you are in and out in 30 minutes. Pretty painless. And you can take care of the reception by giving everybody a roll of nickels and sending them towards the slots. Free cocktails for everybody! Thanks for sticking with me for six whole years, Rachelle. Only 30+ to go.

Election Day

Election Day
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

Election day today! As you can see, people weren't exactly fighting to get in to vote for their favorite elected/hopeful representative. I heard on the radio that California was expecting a +/- 50% turn-out, and 45% of those had already voted absentee. With all the talk about problems with electronic voting, I was feeling pretty confident that our optical scanners were pretty safe. There's an actual paper ballot that you fill in like a school test and feed through a scanner when you're done. Pretty simple. Problem is they "forgot" to send a power cord for the scanner, so they'll have to "hand count" them later. I see my vote for Charlie Brown getting "lost". Of course they'd have to toss out my Schwartzenneger vote, too. God, I love the political season! Seriously. I'll be glued to the TV all night. Might be some yelling, some swearing. Whatever.

Happy Halloween, Lucy!

Happy Halloween, Lucy!
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

OK, so I couldn't resist posting a picture of Lucy in her costume. I don't think she really wanted to dress up as a Fairy Princess, but there weren't a whole lot of costume choices for a chocolate lab/great dane puppy at the $0.99 store. You're looking at $1.98 worth of crazy single-people high-jinks. Lucy and Bo are actually spending the early evening in the back of the truck in the garage. Too much stuff could/would get broken every time the doorbell rang. So far, the bell has only rung twice tonight. 6:28 p.m. PST and we've managed to give away one (1) Tootsie Pop (orange) and one (1) bag of Skittles. Damn kids better start showing up soon or I'm shutting the porch light off, dropping the black-out shades and ripping open mini-packets of Smarties, Twizzlers and Tangy Taffy. Maybe some Starburst. All go really well with a nice Central Coast cabernet sauvignon.

FINAL COUNT: @ 40 kids
Still plenty of swag for me. And Rachelle. And we didn't even have to go door-to-door.

Halloween Party

Halloween Party
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

Rachelle and I were invited to a Halloween party this year, so we had to come up with a costume idea. We settled on Howie Mandel (me) and a brief-case bimbo (Rachelle) from "Deal or No Deal". Neither one of us actually watch the show, but it was a really cheap couples costume. It basically involved me shaving my head completely down (a little cold this time of year, even in Sacramento), finding a pair of clip-on earings and drawing in a cheesy goatee. Rachelle had to dress like a hoochie and carry an aluminum briefcase. Cheap, cheap, cheap! We were a little worried that since it's such a BAD game show nobody would recognize who we were supposed to be. Fortunately, it seems lots of people watch really bad game shows.

FYI - In case anybody is worried about Lucy after seeing that nasty picture I took at the vet's, she's completely recovered. I even took a picture of her in her Halloween costume today, but Rachelle thought it would be too embarrassing to post it. For us, not Lucy. Although Lucy seemed less than happy to be dressed up as a Fairy Princess.

Lucy's First Emergency

Lucy's First Emergency
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

...then this morning we end up back at the vet's for Lucy's first emergency visit. We took her to the new dog park and she must have stepped on a bee or a spider or something that caused an alergic reaction. Her face swelled up to twice her normal size. Creepy-looking Halloween dog #2. Both are fine, but the meds seem to be making Lucy a little sleepy. Bo is always sleepy.

Bo's Emergency

Bo's Emergency
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

So, Tuesday night we had to take Bo to the vet because Lucy's tail caught him in the eye and caused some inner-occular bleeding (or something like that). Creepy-looking Halloween dog #1...

Perfect Mix

Perfect Mix
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

One of the Auditors in my office brought back a jar of tequila-infused chocolate candies. "Nasty" you say? So you might think. Not true at all! As soon as I opened the lid I got a strong whiff of tequila. A little disturbing at 7:30 a.m., but I was willing to give it a shot. No pun intended. Turns out it was actually good. Not a liquid center like I was afraid of. More like a blended chocolate-tequila nugget. Tasty!

Rainbow Bridge: Sunrise

Rainbow Bridge: Sunrise
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

One of the joys of having a puppy is that I am now exposed to many, many more weekend sunrises than I would have otherwise. Bo would happily get up, eat and go back to bed. The perfect dog. Lucy, on the other hand, wants to get up, eat and PLAY! So I get to get up and play WITH HER! Fun!

Anyway, this weekend I loaded the dogs into the back of the Ranger and went for a ride looking for places to use my new camera. I have probably 1000 pictures of the Rainbow Bridge in Folsom. Basically because it's really close to the house and I like the water/bridge/bird/kayaker combo. I also have probably 1000 pictures of Rachelle, Bo and Lucy, too, but Rachelle doesn't like her picture posted (without serious editorial input) and the pictures of Bo and Lucy tend to be blurred because of all the shenanigans and constant motion. Look for more sunrise pictures this weekend. Unfortunately.

Shooting Report

Turns out the whole shooting thing was really bad for the driver. Guy didn't make it and I'm looking at the car on TV to see if it belongs to one of the neighbors I actually know. I really hope it's not the old guy who does his yardwork in his underwear. The whole "doing yardwork in his underwear" is a bit strange, but he's a nice guy. Can't tell based on what I've seen so far. Apparently, the story is the kid was playing with a loaded gun in the house and it went off, hitting the guy as he drove by. How friggin' unlucky is that? What are the odds? If I hadn't stopped off at home to let the dogs out before I went to the post office, I would have been driving by at the time the gun went off. Damn glad I've got dogs.

"GET BACK IN YOUR HOMES..."

"GET BACK IN YOUR HOMES..."
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

That's what the Sheriff's helicopter was shouting out to the dumb-asses in the neighborhood who were watching the armed stand-off. Fortunately, I was already back home after having taken my pictures and was no longer part of the dumb-ass crowd. I had been 10 minutes earlier, but now I can take the moral high-ground. DUMB-ASSES! LOOKIE-LOOS! GET BACK INSIDE AND GUARD YOUR METH LABS!

Breaking news is that the kid shot a passing motorist by mistake. No word on the status of the driver, but it might not be good. Older guy just driving by. Bummer. Really bad news for the kid, too.

Orangevale S.W.A.T.

Orangevale S.W.A.T.
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

So I'm heading to the post office to cancel my mail-hold and I get turned away at a police barricade. Not sure what's happening, but this particular cop (in shorts) had his riot gun pointed toward a house on the corner. Two blocks from my house. Probably really good for property values. This picture was actually taken on my second trip down the block. I tried to get a picture with my phone, but I needed a longer lens. Back home for my digital SLR. Now the helicopter's circling overhead telling everbody to get back in their houses and lock the doors.

UPDATE: Just getting word via KCRA Channel 3 that S.W.A.T. has taken a 14-year-old into custody for an "accidental discharge of a weapon" and the wounding of a motorist. Yikes! I was two minutes from driving past there. More later as additional details emerge. Film at 11:00

Boot-Scootin' in K.C.

Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

OK, so this picture shows both the good and the (very) bad of midwest living. The good part is that it doesn't seem as if restaurants are afraid of being too politically incorrect. My first clue that I was in K.C. and not Sacramento was the waitresses in the low-cut, ass-huggin' jeans and the midriff-baring halter tops. My second clue was when my waitress came up and said, "HI! I'm going to be your whiskey-girl tonight!". Damn, I've never had my very own whiskey-girl. Food was so-so, but I was grubbin' down on my burger and fries when some guy called the whiskey-girls to the dance floor. Apparently, they get together every 20 minutes or so to shake and jiggle around to a bad mix of country and AC/DC. My whiskey-girl was supposed to be getting my Mason jar full of beer, but I was cool with waiting.

An example of the bad part of midwest living is the dude in the blue shirt. Waaaaay too many trips to "Toby Keith's I (heart) This Bar & Grill". Sad part is, of the four guys at the table, he's the one to most likely be called "Slim".

Anyway, I hope they serve breakfast.

Panama Canal Zone

Panama Canal Zone
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

OK, Rachelle doesn't seem to like this picture, but this is my favorite picture from Panama. It's a cargo ship passing under the Bridge of the Americas (just through the Panama Canal) at sunset. The ship looks blurry because I had to use the "bulb" setting to get the picture, but I like it. And we were sitting on the patio at T.G.I. Friday's. That's the sad part.

Graduation Night

Graduation Night
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

So, I'm not sure at what point exactly you cross that line between being a normal pet owner and when you become the weird couple down the street who treats their pets like their kids. I don't know, but I believe we are well past that point. Lucy graduated from puppy class a couple of weeks ago. Now she has a diploma. Rachelle has a diploma. Bo and I are un-educated losers. We prefer to tell people we graduated from the school of hard knocks. Fraternity: Beta Geta Job. Anyway, I'm not putting too much stock in Lucy's "diploma". The instructor said that getting your certificate from puppy class was pretty much like graduating from kindergarten. Everybody gets out. Even the dopey, barky yellow lab who took a ginormous dump in the middle of class and caused us to get out early got a certificate. Kind of like graduating from Walden College. At least we've got something for her baby book. Not really. We're not that crazy.

Bare Naked in Panama

Rachelle and I are starting our second full day in Panama City. We hired a driver/guide yesterday to drive us around the city. We were actually just looking for a taxi to the Panama Canal, but this guy was waiting outside the hotel looking for tourists. We probably could have gotten a cab for quite a bit cheaper, but we saw a whole lot more with this guy. Considering we don't speak a whole lot of Spanish (read,yes; speak, not much), we probably wouldn't have considered going around the armed Panamanian guards at the Presidential Palace. Turns out you can walk right up to the place. Pretty cool. I'll post pictures when we get back. The guy hauled us around for 5 hours and charged us $40. Like I said, we probably overpaid, but it was definitely worth it. The only bad part about yesterday was the cool brew pub across the street was closed because it was Sunday. At least we hope it was closed because it was Sunday. It was the first place we went when we got in Saturday night and it was great. The beer was marginal, but the atmosphere rocked. And I was able to get a bottle of Cuban beer. FYI, Bucanero Fuerte tastes a lot like Budweiser. More later. Rachelle wants to do some "vacationing".

Lucy & Rawhide

Lucy & Rawhide
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

Lucy continues to grow. We've found, after many long, loud afternoons, that if you give both of the dogs a rawhide they'll shut the hell up. Probably not a good parenting tool, but there are times that Rachelle and I would actually like to talk to each other. Or watch another episode of "House Hunters". We've now been to three puppy classes. Lucy slept through the first one, cowered through the second one and finally decided at the third that it wasn't so bad. What changed her mind seemed to be the treats that teacher Julie hands out. Lucy was hiding under the chair until Julie started training one of the other dogs and was rewarding her with treats. That got Lucy's attention. She was much more involved in puppy class after that. I still wouldn't say she's a stellar pupil, but she's pretty good. MUCH better than the lab who took a huge dump towards the end of class #2. We were dismissed a little early that night. Glad it wasn't our dog.

Birthday Gift

Birthday Gift
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

So I'm really excited that my second birthday gift from Rachelle came today. It's such a cool, useful gift that it was on back-order. No, it's not the PowerBook. She got me a USB-powered drink cooler. It's like a coaster that you plug into your USB port and it keeps your drink cold. The instructions show you putting a soda on it, but we all know what these things were really made for. Beer. Or a gin/vodka drink of some sort. Maybe something with an umbrella. Now I can always have an icy-cold beverage next to my computer as I spend hours searching for internet porn. (OK, it doesn't take hours to find internet porn, but it takes a while to find the good stuff.) I'll keep you updated on how it works, but so far I'm diggin' it.

I do have a restaurant review this week. Rachelle and I went to the Gold Miner Cafe in Folsom. Tiny, weird place, but the food rocks. And the portions are ginormous. I got the Lumberjack Special, which was 2 pancakes bigger than my head, 2 pieces of bacon, 2 pieces of sausage, 2 pieces of ham and 2 eggs. I know it sounds like it might be too much, but it was quite tasty. The line runs out the door, but it moves fast. We actually walked in and were offered what apparently is a very unpopular table because everybody else was waiting for something better. Worked fine for us and we didn't have to wait. Suckers.

Scary Dog?

Scary Dog?
Originally uploaded by klycolllins.

Lucy can look a little scary, but she's really just enjoying a belly-rub. She's getting HUGE. Fourteen weeks as of yesterday (earlier versions of this blog said 14 months) and she weighs in at 23.6 pounds. Bo's seven or eight years old and he's only 36 pounds. I see some great games of "rope" in the near future.